alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
