I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
