The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
