Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
