can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
