and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
