i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
