For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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