He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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