soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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