Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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