The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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