The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
