only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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