WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
