i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
