is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
