Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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