But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
