I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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