I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
