there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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