I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
