its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
