called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
