I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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