he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
