hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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