It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
