one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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