I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
