I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
