so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
