how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
