your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
