You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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