I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize