so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize