Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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