I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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