apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
