I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize