he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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