so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
