I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
