I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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