I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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