on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just threw up on my dentist
this boner is exhausting
His hands were made for my vagina.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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