he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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