I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
