How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
