I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
