you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
