i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
