so explain again why im purple
no
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
