He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
