At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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