Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
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