she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
