McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
