I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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