We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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